Sunday, January 2, 2011
I know that people may hate me for this, but I didn't enjoy this movie. This was another one of those Blair Witch style the protagonist is holding the video camera so the movie watcher feels like they are actually in real life type of movies. I know zombie movies have been done to death (pun intended) and zombie movie people are looking for a new way to explore the horror of the zombie, but this is just getting old. Its not a new take on the zombie if its using something that's already been done to death and wasn't that good to begin with. Blair Witch really wasn't that good. I think I've only seen one or two movies done this way that haven't made me want to hurl.
Outside of the filming, there was nothing else I liked about the movie. I didn't care about any of the characters in the movie, which is a big problem for me. I have to actually care if people live or die or why am I watching the film. This movie was about a group of film students making a movie who are attacked by zombies, flee and have to survive amidst zombie mayhem. The film is driven by dialogue that was boring and characters that were uninteresting. This movie wasn't terrible. It was absolutely adequate, which is worse than terrible for a zombie film. A bad zombie film can become campie b-grade fun that you can laugh at and enjoy. A good zombie film is amazing. An adequate zombie film is flat. I will always love Romero and I bought this for my Romero collection, but I won't be watching this one again.
Friday, November 26, 2010
In this installation of the series Ossorio gathers inspiration from H.P. Lovecraft's The Shadow Over Innsmouth. I know many zombie fans love this movie, but I can't stand with them. Despite the Lovecraft references, this movie was laughable. This movie begins, after the obligatory Knights Templar killing a mostly naked woman scene, with a young doctor taking a new job in a village that I can't believe would have been realistic even in the 1970's. The village looks like it fell out of the dark ages. All the women cover their heads and wear black all the time. There are no cars, no electricity, no phones, and the old doctor flees town on a donkey. The locals are strange and hostile and their main activities seem to be beating up on the town idiot and sacrificing virgins. This doesn't scare off the young doctor, however, who breezes into this archaic town in full 1970's bling. He wears high heals and sweaters that are so 1970's I had to squint to see them. His wife has similar fashion sense and is an utter, blithering idiot. Together this couple take over a medical practice in what looks like a decrepit barn and wonder why they aren't getting any patients.
Of course, the couple ignores the old doctor's advice to stay inside after dark and not ask questions and quickly find themselves fighting to save the lives of one town idiot and one victim meant to be sacrificed. Zombie Knights Templar descend on them in full force moving about as quickly as an injured slug. This doesn't stop the women from backing away from the zombies even more slowly while screaming. Of course, if I had on platform shoes that high I might not be able to run or jump out of a window down five feet either, but that is another story. After the town idiot is killed by the zombies, our heroes decide to take the zombie horses and run away. Who would think the zombie horses might be bad? Zombie creatures are usually so trustworthy. But these zombie horses are bad. They are bad zombie horses. The bad zombie horses take our little group of idiots back to the castle of the Knights Templar where the doctor finds a statue of a toad god and concludes that this statue must be the source of all their problems based on nothing but the ugliness of the toad god. The doctor pushes the toad god over and the zombie Templars explode in a bloody mess. Of course, the villagers have spent centuries sacrificing virgins to the Templars and never figured this out. I guess that explains why they are trapped in the dark ages and are too dumb to find any other occupation besides chasing the village idiot with sticks.
This movie is definitely worth seeing if only for a laugh. It is silly without meaning to be and all its inconsistencies make it amazing to watch. Watching a grown woman scream and lay in one place while a skeleton hand spends 2 minutes creeping towards always funny. This movie is definitely in the so bad it is funny category.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
In order to celebrate the release of this wonderful show. I'm spreading the dead. You can help spread the dead too by clicking on the link below. By helping partcipate in this fun, you can also enter to win $5,000. So click here and help spread the dead! http://www.amcspreadthedead.com/share?ref=795730367
To enter to win the $5000 follow the website links to spread the dead and follow the instructions! Good luck. Let me know if you enter too and I'll be sure to share and click on your link as well. Just post your link in the comments below.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Resident Evil movies are not the best zombie movies out there. They really are very few people's favorites, however, they are consistent. From 1-4 they are all equally as good and exactly what you expect. They are fun action flicks with lots of zombie mayham and a few extra monsters thrown in for good measure. I also believe they are some of the best video game based movies out there. The plot of this latest Resident Evil is a basic zombie plot. After our heroine kills everyone at an umbrella company base, she goes looking for her friends from Resident Evil 3. She finds one and they fly to LA together where they enter a prison besieged by zombies just in time to help them escape from a new breed of burrowing zombies. They find a ship that looks like salvation, but turns out to be Umbrella Company and monster madnes and people that are worse than monsters show down against our heros. It is a very predicatable plot, but it is lots of fun and there is enough action and blood t make it worth a watch.
at 6:56 PM
Monday, September 13, 2010
Which brings me to my question for all you zombie people out there. Is there a makeup or something I can put on to look dead, rotten, and zombie vile that will not sweat off of me when I run making looking just regular vile? Does anyone know of resilient zombie makeup? I need all the advice I can get.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The medium teams up with a reporter to find the town of Dunwich (yes, this film was greatly inspired by H.P. Lovecraft). Their plan is to kill the priest zombie and thus stop the armies of the living dead from rising from the grave and destroying the world. This seems easy enough. These zombies have extra powers, however. They can stare at their victims and make their eyes bleed. If you look at them long enough, your intestines will start oozing out of your mouth. They can also teleport.
This film is campy and the dubbing is terrible, but it is worth it. What wonderful horrors can you expect in Fulci's masterpiece? A great scene involving a drill bit to the head, intestines oozing out of victim's mouths, lots of squishy brain scenes, a scene in which it rains maggots, and zombies that look like they are covered in vomit and worms. This is an absolute must see for any zombie movie lover.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Dead Clowns begins with a hurricane. A small town has been evacuated and only the brave remain. The movie spends a considerable time with build up and character development. The story of a circus car accident during another big hurricane is told. All the clowns died in the storm. They went down with the calliope. Even though this story was told straight, with no intention of humor, I couldn't help giggle as a traumatized woman recited this silly story as if it were something scary. The movie progresses slowly from this story. The characters endure the storm as the dead begin to rise. As the zombie clowns crawl out of the sand, calliope music plays in the background. Unfortunately, there isn't enough character development in the world to make me care about these poorly acted characters. So even though there are plenty of characters to kill, I really couldn't care less. The zombie mayhem begins with some beautifully, bloody death scenes and the gore in this film is pretty well done. However, the zombie effects weren't what I had hoped for.
Overall, I would pass on this low budget zombie indie unless you are a die hard fan. It has its moments and it certainly has potential, but it is still too rough to create interest and the premise of zombie clowns would have been better placed in a campy, tongue in cheek kind of film rather than a serious attempt at horror. I'm still hopeful that some day someone will blend Killer Klowns from Outer Space with zombies, but I haven't found it yet. I guess I'll just watch the original Killer Klowns.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Our heroine is an outcast. She and her son live in the shadow of her husband's mistakes. When her son goes into zombie infested Seattle to clear his father's name, the adventure begins. The Boneshaker is a wonderful, zombie filled adventure and worth reading for any zombie or steampunk fan. If you like both, this is your lucky day!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Zombiekins is the story of a boy who live next door to a rather dark and foreboding mansion. One day all his neighbors and he gather up their brooms and pitchforks and head towards this gothic mansion with only one thing on their minds. Yard sale. The lady who lives in the house isn't necessarily a witch. She does cast spells, turn children into toads, and fly a broomstick, but the author doesn't want to make stereotypes and neither does the main character in the book. He buys a somewhat messed up looking teddy bear he calls poof. He also throws out the box and all the instructions. Madness follows as the zombie teddy bear leaves a trail of destruction behind it. It manages to infect the entire school, although the staff seems oblivious to this, and it is up to our young hero and his best friend to save the day.
Zombiekins is quirky, cute, and funny. The zombie illustrations are hilarious and the writing is brilliant. For a zombie lover, I found this book to be a welcome addition to my growing zombie library. It is a little bit a levity in a dark apocalyptic part of my library.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
After being expelled, the two medical students decide that the only way to save their careers is to raise the dead and prove to the world that they are geniuses and deserve to be doctors (Why not? It went well for Dr. Frankenstein). Of course, our mad scientist isn't really raising the dead as much as re-animating them, but it doesn't seem that much different to me. This movie is a gruesome shock fest and a half and the madness that follows this half-baked scheme is fabulous. From a medical director that has to carry most of his head around on a dish as he tries to rape the heroe's girlfriend to a zombie's intestines grabbing hold of our mad scientist med student and trying to kill him, the shocks are endless.
Re-animator is a campy, cult classic and is one of the best of the 1980's zombies films. It is funny and over the top and so shocking you have to laugh. If you like zombies or Lovecraft this is a must see film.
at 8:53 PM
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A young couple is vacationing when they meet a bikini clad beauty that the boyfriend finds attractive and the girlfriend had a lesbian affair with years ago. The boyfriend invites the bikini, bisexual beauty with them on their train trip and the girlfriend becomes crazy with jealousy. She eventually leaps from a moving train to escape her boyfriend's flirtation with her ex-lesbian lover. As unwise as this may sound, it is actually much stupider than it sounds. She jumps from a moving train in an isolated nowhere somewhere between hell and France. She finds a ruined old castle and ,as there are no people anywhere, she decides to get undressed and camp out in it. She plays the radio and relaxes as the blind dead rise from their graves to devour her. This describes every vacation I've ever had.
The blind dead are Knights Templar that were hung for their satanic crimes while birds ate out their eyes. They rise from the dead nightly in the exact castle where our young heroine is camping. She is eaten and her bisexual friend and boyfriend come looking for her. Blind, zombie madness follows. The most interesting parts of this movie use the combination of atmosphere and silence to create fear. The zombies hunt by sound so there are many scenes where protagonists try to stay quiet.
Overall this is not my favorite zombie film. It is silly and the characters are beyond stupid, but it is unique in its campy 70's charm so I have to say that I still enjoyed watching it.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Of course, I was giddy with anticipation when I found out AMC is doing an adaptation of Robert Kirkman's masterpiece. According to dread central, "I don't think there's a single other project we're looking forward to more around the Dread Central offices than Frank Darabont's adaptation of the Robert Kirkman zombie epic The Walking Dead. Casting news has been brilliant, the effects that we've seen so far have been top shelf, and everything seems to be coming together nicely." I'm thrilled. In order to prepare for this epic event, I suggest you read all of Robert Kirkman's comics as soon as possible. They are definitely worth it!
at 7:28 PM
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
iphone while I wait for labs in the ER or while my children are playing at the science museum. It is the best short term zombie distraction I have ever found. Plants vs. Zombies is a simple game in many ways, but the graphics are good and there are many types of zombies to battle. The zombie animation is great and the dialogue between the crazy shop keeper is hilarious. The zombies send silly note encouraging you to give up your brains.
Plants vs. Zombie is a tower defense game and has only one or two difficult levels. If you are a veteran of tower defense games you may find this easy. However, it hardly matters because the game is so much fun. If you continue pass the adventure mode and try to complete all of the achievements you can have even more fun. My only complaint is that there wasn't enough of this game.
Monday, June 14, 2010
This movie was produced by Sam Raimi, whom I usually love, and released in 1988. It was shot on 8mm film and has a grainy quality that makes it seem more iinteresting than it actually is. It is gory and violent and the effects are good. I really should have loved this film. Sam Raimi and the living dead are a great combination. I felt, however, this movie was a big disappointment. It just lacked qualities that would make me care. I think it was the characters. In order for me to care if people live or die, I have to believe they are real and find them at least a little interesting. This moving didn't make me do that. I guess blood and guts and zombie effects aren't enough sometimes. I fell asleep. I had a good nap, however. I know some zombie lovers adore this film and I certainly don't hate it. I just found it sleepy.
at 1:29 PM
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Zombies were taken from Haitian Voodoo Mythology and originally were people who were killed and brought back to life by magical means to become the slaves of the living. White Zombie is the classic film example of this original zombie form. The Serpent and the Rainbow is a more modern look at this type of zombie. Of course, Romero changed all of this. In Zombie Mania, Romero explains that he stole his idea for Night of the Living Dead from the 1964 book I am Legend. In the original I am Legend, Vampires were hounding the protagonist, but Romero took this idea and created a different kind of monster to terrorize his protagonists and thus the modern zombie was born.
Zombie Mania continues along these lines discussing the many controversies in the world of zombies. For example, can zombies be fast? Do fast moving zombies suck? How do you survive the zombie apocalypse? Are we all really brain dead zombies?
It explores the many films and books that now exist and give the zombie lover an in depth look at the undead. I love this documentary and it is on netflix instant watch.
Friday, May 28, 2010
All of this said, strictly speaking the flesh hungry monsters chasing the heroes in this movie are infected with a virus called the rage. They aren't the dead reanimated. They are rotting, fleshy sacks. Their hearts are still beating. There have been several movies like this lately. Quarantine has a similar plot line about "infected" people that are driven to act much like zombies. So my question is, are these films that act almost exactly like zombie movies, zombie movies? Certainly a zombie lover can enjoy these movies, but can we talk about them as zombie movies or do we need to put them into a category of their own? Should we call them infected movies? Flesh crazed sick people movies? What are these films?
at 8:36 PM
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Night of the Comet is a mixture of several different genres. It is a zombie film, an apocalypse film, and a science fiction comedy. As a child, this was one of my favorite movies. I was nine when this came out and I think I watched it at least twenty times. As an adult, I still like this film that was voted number 10 in Bloody Disgusting's Top 10 Doomsday Horror Films in 2009.
The story of this film is more complex than most zombie films. Everyone is excited to see an extraordinary comet. There are comet parties and gatherings of all sorts. The two heroins in this film are two teenage girls that could care less about the comet. They hate their stepmother and they both flee her comet party and end up sleeping in metal structures. They both awake to silence. The world is empty and there is red sand in all the places people had once been. The two girls find each other and come to the conclusion that the comet killed everyone on earth, but spared them because of the metal containers they slept in. Of course, they aren't completely alone. The comet also turned some of the population into rotting, putrid, hungry zombies. As the girls run from these zombies, they meet a helpful man who is romantically partnered with the older teen, raid the mall for new clothes, and end up with a government group that promises them sanctuary. Of course, there is not sanctuary. The government group is turning into zombies themselves and they believe the girls' blood will save them from their zombification. Many chases and close calls follow, but the girls are victorious and escape into the sunset with the last two men on earth.
What more could anyone want? The acting isn't that bad and the plot is interesting. It is funny and it keeps your heart racing from time to time. Although this isn't a traditional zombie film, it is still a fun addition for any zombie movie addict.
at 8:46 PM
Monday, May 17, 2010
Unfortunately, Return of the Living Dead III completely breaks from the Return of the Living dead formula. It is not silly and there is nothing in this movie to make you laugh. It is romantic and tragic. It also seems to be a celebration of extreme body piercing. It is the story of two young lovers, Curt and Julie. Curt indulges Julie's wild side and steals his father's key and sneaks on base with Julie to see what kind of crazy experiments are going on in the secret base. They discover that Curt's father is working on a way to turn zombies into biological weapons. Of course, in a tragic chain of events, Julie ends up dead and Curt takes her back to the base and brings her back to life. Julie becomes a beautiful zombie.
After an altercation with a gang in a convenience store, Julie bites a gang member. Julie and Curt then flee into the sewers while being chased by the military and this crazy gang. Julie finds the only way to prevent herself from eating Curt is to pierce every part of her naked body with horrible broken pieces of metal and nails. A homeless man offers the couple a place to hide and is turned into a zombie by Julie. The gang finds Curt and Julie and after she gnaws on them for a while they become zombies too. The military catches up with them and after Curt sees Julie eat the nice homeless man, he lets them take her.
Curt stumbles on Julie and the nice homeless man in the base and sees the horrible things the military is doing to them and decides it is best to free the zombies. Craziness follows.
This isn't a bad zombie movie. It is watchable, but it isn't what you want from a Return of the Living Dead film. I miss the laughs and the silliness.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
While I was in Chicago, I was also exposed to the mesmerizingly bizarre, sex-filled, violent zombie chicken movie Poultrigeist. I thought I knew B-grade movies fairly well, but this was my first exposure to Troma films. They are famous for killer penis scenes, graphic sex, and mind bogglingly silly gore. Poultrigeist has all of these things, right down to the giant, chicken headed, zombie penis that broke free from a zombie, chicken woman and went on a rampage. The plot of this movie really doesn't matter, but for those who are curious. A fried chicken chain (like KFC) builds a restraunt on an ancient Indian burial ground and zombie chickens are born amidst lesbain sex scenes and silly musical numbers. When the zombie chickens take over, the violence is amazing and the rest really doesn't matter. I really don't know how to rate this movie except to say that if killer, zombie chicken penises and lesbian sex sound enjoyable to you, you will like this movie. Otherwise, you might just want to watch it to know how strange film can be.